Someone told me today that people who smile a lot, smile because they're trying to hide something sad deep inside.
I had been smiling the entire time, until after he said that when I didn't smile nearly as often.
I don't really have something sad that I'm trying to hide, but I have had sad memories I just can't seem to lose. Mainly just guys who've gained my trust then fucked with my head and heart so bad that I won't ever be able to forget them. For some reason that remark just hit me like a splash of water to the face, and I almost started crying. I just don't know. Maybe it's the stress getting to me, but I feel like the person said it because they read me like an open book. he was playing poker and they were teaching me about finding people's 'tells' and they said 'eople who flip their hair are insecure' and what they said above about smiling. I really wanted him to go on, but he didn't. UGH. And I kind of like him, but he's my sister's friend and such an ass! He was completely serious though, and sometimes he can be nice. Damn my liking guys who are asses! It seems like they're all I really fall for, and they're all that ever like me. Maybe it's a way of subconcious self sabatoge, myself telling me that I shouldn't try to get close to anyone like that or look to fall in love because it'll only lead to hurt and sadness.



egyptian rat race now, more to elaborate later.